London Underground users may experience second-hand embarrassment as mortifying date stories are splashed on the platform. (Twitter)
Commuters chugging down their filter coffee or blankly scrolling on their iPhones may look up and see something a little… different on the London Underground today. Gay tweets. Gigantic gay tweets. From people off of Gay Twitter.
Twitter took over the London Underground today for Valentine’s Day, splashing some seriously awkward queer dating stories in 280 characters or less all across the tube.
The folks at the Dating Twitter Advice Bureau trailed through tranches of tweets to find some of the most truly mortifying. The kind that will likely make you feel better about your own dating track record.
That, or reassure you that you’re not the only one living a Carrie Bradshaw-grade life.
Considering that the city is coated in ads for pristine rose bouquets and heart-shaped chocolates, the tweets are an antidote to the saccharine sappiness of, well, corporate capitalist love.
Here are some of the tweets that made the cut.
being gay in cold weather is just matching with everyone on tinder with the solemn understanding you will neither be contacting nor contacted
— Amanda Richards (@amandakater) November 17, 2019
My girlfriend adds milk and sugar to her herbal teas. No peppermint tea should look the way hers currently does. I’m in love with a monster
— Paula Akpan (@paulaakpan) December 3, 2019
Him: I think we should just be friends, there’s no world in which I see more for us than that
Me: OKAYYY HE’S GIVING ME SUCH MIXED SIGNALS?!!???? He loves me 🥰 I love a fairytale ending 😍
— Nick Lehmann (@NickStopTalking) January 4, 2020
My boyfriend is worried about how long it’s been since I’ve had a bowel movement and I’ve never been more sure he’s the one.
— Megan Kelly Dunn (@megankcomedy) February 7, 2019
Just accidentally brushed Doc Martens with another lesbian on the tube. I think that means we are now married.
— Rosie Jones (@josierones) May 25, 2019
I matched with a girl on tinder, she gave me her instagram @ and when I followed her I realized she dated one of my friends a few years ago. If that isn’t lesbian culture…
— Mary M (@feministgayry) December 22, 2019
Just sent my boyfriend a nude and he told me to put some clothes on. And that Ladies and Gentlemen is where we’re at.
— Rich_iz (@Rich_iz) December 21, 2019
Many of the users, now officially joint-CEOs of Gay Twitter dot com, were proud of their works of art plastered on the tube walls.
My tweets! Are up in London! In the tube! Yes, I am the Queen now. pic.twitter.com/JaSvDe2GgV
— Nick Lehmann (@NickStopTalking) February 11, 2020
Happy Valentine’s Day lads pic.twitter.com/WK7hyTpKry
— Paula Akpan (@paulaakpan) February 13, 2020
Created by creative studio Flying Object, the out-of-home campaign will come to life in Oxford Street, Piccadilly Circus and Tottenham Court Road.
It also includes fly-posting of printed assets across Clapham Junction, Queens Town Road Battersea and St Pauls Road Islington.
While those allergic to love or who add milk and sugar to herbal teas like the devil themselves can swing by the social media giant’s pop-up stall in Covent Garden.
There, Londoners can browse un-educational videos inspired by the above tweets as well as tweets from non-queer folk.
“The most hilarious, honest and real accounts of dating aren’t those found in magazines, romcoms or on the apps, but within the Dating Twitter conversation,” explained David Wilding, director of planning at Twitter UK, said in a press release.
“People come to Twitter to talk about what they really think about love and dating – the good, bad, awkward.
“We want to honour the true reality around the modern world of dating on Valentine’s Day, by bringing the most raw and relatable tweets to life at the Advice Bureau, even if it’s not very helpful.”