As you’ve probably noticed by now, Donald Trump has spent the entirety of his presidency saying certifiably insane, 100% made-up stuff, including but not limited to suggesting he invented the word “caravan”; claiming you need an I.D. to buy cereal; insisting a hurricane was going to hit Alabama when it definitely wasn’t; telling people that wind turbines give you cancer; dubbing himself the greatest environmentalist president in more than 100 years; and repeatedly talking about a nonexistent commercial flight filled with “thugs” who apparently used their frequent-flier miles to get a deal on a red-eye to Washington. With fewer than two months until the election, these statements have only gotten more absurd and have focused nearly completely on his opponent, Joe Biden. In the last few weeks, the president has claimed his opponent is controlled by “people that are in the dark shadows,” that he’s fine with children being “slaughtered,” and that if he’s elected, you’ll have to flee your home in the middle of the night. On Thursday it was shown that Trump took his Biden commentary to its next “logical” conclusion, claiming in an interview that the Democratic nominee has gained an edge in the polls by using…performance-enhancing drugs.
“I think there’s probably—possibly—drugs involved,” Trump told Fox News host Jeanine Pirro in an interview that will air on Saturday night. “That’s what I hear. I mean, there’s possibly drugs. I don’t know how you can go from being so bad where you can’t even get out a sentence.”
Notice that even in the fog of his pathological lies and dementia, a teeny-tiny part of Trump knows that he’s full of shit, hence the hedging that the Democratic nominee for president of the United States is “probably,” “possibly” on drugs. Still, that doesn’t stop him from floating the idea that there’s no other explanation for Biden performing well on the campaign trail than perhaps that he’s juicing. This, as a reminder, is coming from a guy who struggles with simple words in the English language, whose demeanor makes people think he might have had a stroke, and who, just this week, pronounced the words “from among” like this:
But hey, that’s where we are in 2020: the president of the United States accusing the Democratic nominee of doping, which means we’re probably just one interview or rally away from him claiming he saw Biden dealing drugs outside the Washington Monument or that he died eight years ago and was replaced by a body double. At this point, there’s a non-zero chance that Trump will demand Biden be tested for steroids before the debates. Just kidding: he already did that. (“We’re going to call for a drug test, by the way, because his best performance was against Bernie,” Trump told the Washington Examiner last month. “It wasn’t that he was Winston Churchill because he wasn’t, but it was a normal, boring debate. You know, nothing amazing happened. And we are going to call for a drug test because there’s no way — you can’t do that.” Trump also said he wanted Hillary Clinton tested in 2016, because he didn’t suddenly lose his mind overnight.)
Meanwhile, in other presidential batshittery over just the course of the last 24 hours:
Silicon Valley is preparing for Trump to claim he won before the votes are actually counted