We may be smack-dab in the middle of a heat wave in August, but at The Late Show, sleigh bells are ringing. On Tuesday, Late Show host Stephen Colbert joyfully roasted former president Donald Trump after the FBI raided his residence at Mar-a-Lago.
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“It may be hot outside, but in here, it’s Christmas. Because yesterday, we all got the present we wanted: FBI agents raided Mar-a-Lago,” said Colbert, eliciting cheers from the audience. He then giggled with sheer glee. “That is the most beautiful sentence America has ever produced,” he continued. “It’s right up there with ‘We put cheese inside the crust.’”
Colbert went on to explain details of the raid, which took place early Monday morning when the FBI executed a search warrant on Trump’s offices and personal quarters. “I feel bad for those agents,” Colbert said, breaking into an impersonation of an FBI agent tasked with searching Trump’s residence. “Sir, I finished searching the cabinet full of empty chicken buckets. Where should I go next? Please don’t say the bathroom,” he quipped.
Monday’s Mar-a-Lago raid was apparently part of an investigation launched by the National Archives and Records Administration, said Colbert. “That’s right: He’s gonna get taken down by the librarians,” he continued, prompting more cheers. “They’re coming for you, baby. They’re organized. They know where everything is. And you never know which way they’re coming, because they’re so quiet. They are silent but deadly.”
The National Archives and Records Administration began the investigation into Trump when the organization discovered that the former president took 15 boxes from the White House that contained government documents, mementos, gifts, and letters, including correspondence with North Korean leader Kim Jong-un and “Ted Cruz’s balls,” Colbert joked. He then mocked and impersonated Eric Trump, whom he called Trump’s “former second first son,” for coming to his father’s defense.
“Hey FBI, did you find my note telling my dad how proud I am of him?” said Colbert, breaking into a gummy Eric Trump–esque grin. “Did you find a note of him saying how proud he is of me? Keep looking. The truth is out there.”
Colbert also used his Eric Trump impression to highlight “one inconsistency” in Eric Trump’s story. The former president’s son claimed he was “with” his father when Donald received the call about the Mar-a-Lago raid, but then “called” his father to inform him. “Dad, it’s me, over here!” the host said, breaking back into his Eric impression. “It’s me, your son. Not the one you like, the other one. I have terrible news: I’m in the room with you.”
Colbert ends this portion of the monologue by reacting to Trump’s response to the raid. “What is the difference between this and Watergate?” wrote Trump in a memo describing the raid. Colbert had an answer for him: “Watergate was Dick Nixon breaking the law. This was the law breaking in on a dick.”