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Will they, won’t they? That’s where all the tension lies in this one wild and precious life. Will they, won’t they kiss a little? (Turns out, they will!) Will they, won’t they do the right thing? Will they, won’t they destroy the ring before the ring destroys them? Will they, all the banking employees in New York, get back to the office before dad really gets mad or won‘t they?
Banks and their bosses are now enticing their employees back to the office using a variety of techniques, some more carrot, others more stick. James Gorman, CEO of Morgan Stanley, said on Monday he expects all staff in New York City in the office full-time by Labor Day according to the New York Post.
“Make no mistake about it”—which is one of the most serious ways to start a sentence we humans have at our disposal—“we do our work inside Morgan Stanley offices, and that’s where we teach, that’s where our interns learn, that’s how we develop people. On Labor Day, I’ll be very disappointed if people haven’t found their way into the office. Then, we’ll have a different kind of conversation.”
And listen, if dad is not mincing words here, then what will he say during the one-on-one convo? (Probably some pretty serious stuff!) Here is the real gauntlet: “If you can go into a restaurant in New York City, you can come into the office. We want you in the office.” This guy really has your number, bankers.
Those who don’t comply could potentially face salary cuts, though there’s been no word yet. “If you want to get paid New York rates, you work in New York. None of this, ‘I’m in Colorado and work in New York and am getting paid like I’m sitting in New York City.’ Sorry, that doesn’t work.”
Goldman Sachs CEO David Solomon is a DJ hobbyist and took the cool-teacher approach to getting employees back in office chairs. He released a new single, “Learn to Love Me,” which you can listen to here. The company is facilitating that old-school watercooler magic with some stronger stuff: coffee stations and food trucks, according to Bloomberg. But it’s not all fun jigs and “if you ace the test the whole class gets a pizza party”-style perks. The outlet reports that Solomon told employees to figure out how to get back by yesterday—that is, Monday.
Questions remain of course. Will they, won’t they set a standard for the rest of the corporate set in this city and others? Will they, won’t they add back in some flexibility perks to assist with employee retention? Will they, won’t they require vaccines in offices (so far, some yes, others no). And also, what will this mean for our vacation towns and tourist destinations now that the era of willy-nilly schedules is coming to an end? Some more regular helicopter service, perhaps, and maybe some peace and quiet for the locals.
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