David and Martin adopted twin three-year-old boys in 2018. (Barnado’s)
During LGBT+ fostering and adoption week, a same-sex couple have revealed their “amazing journey” adopt twins through the charity Barnado’s.
LGBT+ fostering and adoption week is organised by New Family Social, the only national LGBT+ adoption and fostering charity in the UK.
It runs from March 2 to March 8 and aims to busting adoption and fostering myths commonly believed by LGBT+ people, for example that living with HIV, being non-binary or having prior experience of mental health issues could make them ineligible.
Martin and David, a same-sex couple from South West London, chose to adopt twins through Barnado’s UK. They were referred to the charity’s adoption and fostering service in 2017.
David said: “The adoption process is intense, but you have to take it one day at a time… In the beginning it felt very overwhelming and there were a lot of forms to complete, but the support workers guide you through it and Barnardo’s provides three days of training where you get to meet other adoptive parents which is really useful and reassuring.”
They saw photos of their twin boys, who were three years old at the time, in January 2018. David described meeting them for the first time at their nursery and David said: “That was the moment we realised that this was our new family”.
Having long known they wanted to become parents, the couple were finally able to adopt the twins in June 2018.
Martin said: “In the first few weeks it was emotionally difficult for them as they were so young when they came to us and didn’t really understand what was happening.
“There were a lot of tears as obviously they really missed their foster carer, but now they are older, it’s been a lot better and they are a lot more settled.
“They are really attached to us and realise that the person who they were staying with was almost like a ‘temporary parent’, someone who was there to keep them safe but not their permanent parents.
“She is still part of their lives and they have been able to visit her and her partner, but they no longer miss their foster carer when they say goodbye.”
The boys, now five, have now become “lively and outgoing” and love playing in the nearby park.
Martin continued: “We do all the same things that any other family does together and we have never experienced any negative words or comments from other people as same-sex parents.”
“We became parents because we wanted to become dads – that was the most important thing, but I do think I am quite proud of also being a same-sex parent… If you had said to the 16-year-old me that one day I would get married and become a father, I would never have believed it.
“Society has changed so much in recent years and I see it with the children at school. Their attitudes to being gay and same-sex parents are so much more advanced compared to when I was at school thirty years ago.
“It’s amazing to see the transformation and I think it’s great that Barnardo’s are able to help other same-sex couples realise their dreams of becoming parents.”
The UK’s LGBT+ fostering and adoption week comes at a poignant time, as last week the US Supreme Court announced it will decide whether states can deny taxpayer funding to adoption and foster agencies that discriminate against same-sex couples.
The case was brought by Catholic Social Services, a Philadelphia-based care agency, which insists it is entitled to receive taxpayer funding despite banning same-sex parents from fostering children.
Activists are fearful that the case has the potential for devastating consequences for LGBT+ rights – as a ruling in favour of the foster agency could strike down a patchwork of state laws protecting LGBT+ couples seeking to adopt.
Enter your email to receive a daily roundup of the top LGBT+ news stories