Oscar-winning actress Marcia Gay Harden spoke directly to mothers of queer children during a speech at the Los Angeles LGBT Center’s A Place We Call Home gala on May 16.
“The people I need to talk to tonight are old, staunch, stubborn families,” said Harden, according to Variety. “Families who don’t accept the queer community, and because I also believe that mothers are the real vanguards of change and the torchbearers for community, it is mothers that I’m talking to tonight.”
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Harden, who was given the event’s Vanguard award and has three children who identify as part of the LGBTQ+ community, told these mothers what they miss out on by failing to accept queer people.
“If you’ve not welcomed the queer community into your life, either as friends or should you be so lucky, your children, you are cutting off your nose to spite your face. You’re missing out on a fabulous life experience and basically you’re making a great big mistake.”
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“Saying to your children, you can’t be you and live in my home or be in my family, you are losing out because they won’t come home for Christmas.”
She then adopted a more lighthearted tone and joked about how fun it is to spend time with LGBTQ+ people.
“Honey, you haven’t seen anything until you’ve seen a lesbian stuff a Thanksgiving turkey. No one chooses the holiday decorations for the Christmas party faster than a gay man. I mean come on, twink twink twinkle. And should your ex happen to show up at that same Christmas party with his girlfriend or perhaps the new wife, the queers will be the first to tell you that you are serving c**t.”
She invited mothers to “march with us” and “help us protect your child.”
“Be an ally,” she said. “Your life will be extraordinarily enhanced and open up wonderful new doors and new experiences for you.”
“So instead of telling young people all across the country that who they are is somehow wrong or they are undeserving of dignity, join us in pointing out that what other people see as faults or cracks is simply where the light gets in.”
Hosted by Rupaul’s Drag Race winner Bianca Del Rio, the LA LGBT Center’s sold-out gala raised $1.25 million for the center’s programs and included speakers like Billie Jean King and LA Mayor Karen Bass.
During Bass’s speech, she emphasized that “the movement always wins.”
In a 2024 conversation with LGBTQ Nation, Harden spoke about always making sure her children know they are loved for exactly who they are.
“I have completely accepted my children, their journeys, their identities, and their preferences,” she said. “Because for me, that’s a no-brainer, of course. They’re your children, you love them, you accept them.”
On April 29 of that year, Harden accepted the Advocate Award from what was then GLSEN and is now Glisten, a nonprofit that develops resources for educators, advocates to protect LGBTQ+ youth and other marginalized identities in schools, and supports student-led efforts to create safe learning environments.
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