A woman showed she can deadlift more than her boyfriend, and his bruised toxic masculinity lashed out in the worst way. (Stock photograph via Elements Envato)
A girlfriend asked the internet whether she’s in the wrong for “emasculating” her boyfriend, who’s clearly suffering from a bad case of toxic masculinity.
But what did she do? We hear you ask.
Well, reddit user ThrowRA1287 explained on the “Am I The A**hole?” subreddit that she managed to deadlift a tremendous 265kg – her personal best – only for her partner to erupt in rage against her for it.
Just moments after he “educated” her on “biology and how men are stronger than women”, seeing his girlfriend prove herself as stronger than he is apparently decimated his fragile ego. After he hounded her for being “less of a woman now”, she began doubting herself.
Wondering if she should have reeled back her performance just to preserve her boyfriend’s bruised toxic masculinity and if she is an “a**hole”, countless reddit users urged her to dump the dead weight and stick to deadlifting instead.
— Am I the Asshole? (@AITA_reddit) May 18, 2020
Girlfriend can deadlift more than her boyfriend, and the toxic masculinity leapt out.
ThrowRA1287, 30, explained that she has been in a relationship with her 28-year-old boyfriend since February. In March, the coronavirus pandemic rattled them, forcing them to easily move in with one another.
She explained that during their morning routine where the boyfriend lazily browses reddit, he showed her, for some reason, a video of a mixed-sex couple arm wrestling.
This sparked an argument between the pair after the boyfriend lectured her on “how men are stronger than women”. She rebuked this wildly sexist claim by noting that while she has been weightlifting for the last two years, her boyfriend “has never seen a gym in his life”.
“He got really defensive and condescending and made comments like, ‘that’s cute’, I just let it go,” she said.
Then on Sunday (May 17), ThrowRA1287 and the boyfriend decided to work out together. Their mutual pal tagged long to help spar them.
She decided she was going to test her personal best, spurring the boyfriend to try weightlifting out for size. He managed to get up to 185kg when “his form starts to crumble, so we made him go lighter.
“But 185 really isn’t that much for me so I kept stacking the plates. He looked very supportive and impressed the whole time.
“I ended up beating my personal best at 265. I was ecstatic and so were they.”
But the car ride home was one of awkward silence, which ThrowRA1287 attributed to him being tired. When they got home, however, “he exploded and asked me if I was proud of myself.
“Apparently, I humiliated him in front of my friend. I apologised. I didn’t realise he was feeling that way.
“He got angry and said it really changed the way he saw me, like I’m less of a woman now. He stormed to the basement.”
So, is she the a**hole?
Absolutely not, says literally everyone in human existence that is not misogynistic.
Countless comments congratulated ThrowRA1287 on her beating her weightlifting record
“You don’t need a physically stronger man,” one user proclaimed, “but you definitely need an emotionally stronger man, because that’s where your boyfriend is weak.
“You shouldn’t have apologised for being better at something you work at than he is. That’s your only error here.
“He wanted to s**t talk and brag when he didn’t deserve it. Don’t EVER make yourself less to placate the insecurity of anyone.”
As users sounded out that the boyfriend is “immature”, ThrowRA1287 noted that after the fight, she bounced to her friend place and has yet to talk to her “soon-to-be-ex yet”.
“Reading everyone’s comments has really helped me gain some perspective,” she added and noted in other comments he has yet to answer back her calls.